Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Opening

My opening so far is pretty boring. I think.

 She arrives in London and is waiting on the deck for her family to pick her up. They are late and she is worried but no worries they show up and give her a warm welcome. She is struggling with her inner turmoil. Her secret is something that weighs heavily on her at all times.  Its her first trip anywhere and she is curious of everything. Her sheltered quiet upbringing in near isolation has not affected her spirit. She doesn't intend to do anything inappropriate but she does seem to have a way of causing a stir.

I think her love interest needs to be introduced in the first chapter. He needs to meet her on the street somehow and save her from maybe stepping in a puddle or making a faux pas or something simple like that. I had thought to maybe name him John. He is just your typical nice guy and as always he will be overlooked.

Excerpt

"Faith stood at the railing vigilently searching the crowd for a familiar face. How much longer was she going to have to wait on this floating prison? Thank goodness that long dreadful voyage was over. It took 7 Months to cross the seas to get to London. Even though she didn’t look forward to her visit, she would gladly trade wardens to be on dry land and sleep in a real bed again!"

Comments appreciated as always.

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