Saturday, September 29, 2012

My First Writing Piece Made Public!

Writing for me is so difficult. I am an engineer by trade and I get stuck by being too concise. I struggle with adding body to my writing. Nay, I struggle adding the good stuff (i.e.: emotion, description, even dialogue). I mean I know I can get better with practice so here I am. Write every day. Like those people over at WriteMo something or the other.  At one point in time I even took an online class. See an example below.

Erica still felt that tightening in her chest from last night’s news broadcast. A third woman had gone missing yesterday, without a trace, in what officials believed to be a human trafficking ring.

Her hair was sloppily fell onto her back in a frizzy tangled mess. The bright tangerine blouse and khaki pants she wore were full of ironed on creases. Those black patent leather flats she loved so much somehow appeared even more worn and dusty today. She looked like she was trying out for that TV show, 'What not to wear'.

She was really preoccupied with her own notions of being abducted, wondering what she would do. She was a single woman living alone and had no real family of her own. She didn't have a boyfriend or even a pet to keep her company. She was also lonely. But it was ok. She had her job. She couldn't concentrate however on her job at the moment. All she could see in her head was the picture of the smiling woman's face that was plastered on last night's news and in this morning’s newspaper.

The mountainous stacks of invoices on her desk needed to be logged and paid, at least sometime before the end of the week. But not now, it was time for a break.

What woman could feel safe in times like these? She had to do something to protect herself. Guns were too dangerous; she would probably end up shooting herself on accident being as clumsy as she was. Mace was popular among women but she didn't think a spray would be enough. She wanted to feel safe.

She repositioned her generous behind in her chair and stretched her arms over her head, in an effort to relieve some of her tension. Oh yeah that did feel good. Her thoughts drifted to all those Kung Fu movies she watched at Sean's house when she was growing up. She chuckled to herself remembering one in particular where a man with a long white beard who flew weightlessly through the air fighting about 10 guys all at once without ever being hit or touching the ground. They were really cheesy. Of course those movies were not real but they may be on to something. She could learn some self-defense and at the same time get back into some kind of shape maybe even drop a few pounds.

The tightening in her chest eased and she a light bulb go off in her head. That's it. She hastily grabbed the phone book. There was a place on Mackey St that was close enough to where she lived. It seemed like a good school. It had been in the paper a few times and on her way home from the food store on Wednesdays it always looked full. She decided to stop there on her way home from work today to check it out.

The smell of stale coffee was getting stronger and the usual office chattered died down to an almost distant hum. That usually meant that her boss, Mr. Clarke, was about to walk by in a weakly veiled attempt to see if anyone was working. He never seemed satisfied that anyone in their department was working hard enough.

A second later he waddled by her desk nodding his head upward at her as she simultaneously mimicked his gesture. That was a popular way for people to say hello here without speaking. Erica was positive that he had on the same clothes as yesterday, and the day before that, he smelled like it anyway. He was a nice enough guy as long as he didn't start talking. He usually jumped from this topic to the next all the while repeating himself over and over again, in the most annoying nasal monotone voice you've ever heard.

She glanced from her desk she had a beautiful view of the Harbor. There was still plenty of light outside but as she watched the familiar ship  come back in and dock in its usual place she knew that it was just about time to go home to an empty house. It was Tuesday, take out day. Her heart swelled with joy. The day passed like every other day”

Feel free to critique. Comments welcome. Just be nice so you don’t hurt my feelings. Lol.

1 comment:

  1. I did not edit this excerpt before posting and i see quite a few errors. Maybe I have improved in the past 5 years. And somehow I am still clueless.