Reversing the Plot

Well, I haven't recieved any feedback. Surprise, surprise. I am partial to having an island nation included in my story line because that is what I dream about.

Maybe instead of a season in London I should reverse my story and send her to the island after failing to find a husband after a few seasons. The rest of the plot will remain the same. However it stands to reason that there will be fewer social opportunities on an island for obvious reasons.

Too many choices!! Arrgh!

Excerpt:

As she had expected, the skies seemed a bit gray, the air was cool and somehow felt damp. And what was that foul odor? She couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Unwashed bodies maybe? Or rotting debris strewn in the streets near the vessel? How did people live here?

She was not accustomed to this at all. There was so much activity. On the island where she grew up the port never had more than a few boats at a time and not many more people. But this, this was almost chaos. Dock hands loaded goods on and off scores of ships docked along the wharf. 

Many coaches came and went each almost seeming to slow down and stare at her before speeding on by. She unconsciously touched her hair and smoothed her dress. Could they look at her and tell her secret? She tried her best to hide it. She had put on her best dress and had taken great pains to care for herself better than she ever had.

 She was a woman of ten and eight but this was her first time ever leaving home. Oh how she missed Papa and her home in the colony. The bright sun and the warm fragrant tropical breeze always comforted her. This was a culture shock.

Her papa was adamant that she have a season as befitting a woman of her station. But she didn’t really care about all that, she would have happily stayed at home attending to her aging father.

Instead he wrote to his sister and packed her off to England to find a husband. A husband was the last thing she really needed. She was an heiress thanks to her father’s good business instincts and spendthrift ways. She didn’t need anything; she had her writing to keep her otherwise occupied. She made up her mind to respect her father’s wishes and attend the season but at the end she would return home alone, hopefully it wouldn’t prove to be too tedious an endeavor.

“Faith, is it truly you?” She looked up a bit startled at being caught unawares. This woman could be no other than her Aunt Davinia. She looked so much like Papa that she almost burst into tears on the spot. She was shorter than Faith, as big a barrel of wine with kind brown eyes just like her fathers.  Instead she gulped in a big breath of air to fortify her and responded as serenely as she could “Why yes, you must be aunt Dora what a pleasure to finally ... oof!” She found herself locked into an embrace that almost knocked the wind out of her.

“ Oh Faith look at you! You are even more beautiful than your father described. I’m so happy to  finally meet you after all these years!” She turned around and there were a few other faces staring back at with a mixture of curiosity and surprise. “These are your cousins Lord James and  Lady Elizabeth. Both of you girls will have your coming out this season. It will be so much fun!”

 

I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to leave feedback.

What time is it?

So I have been so consumed by developing characters and a great plot and improving my use of dialogue that I forgot all about the time. What period is my story set in? I have always thought it to be a general historical romance set in London somewhere in the 1800’s but I really have no clue of what life was like and what existed at that time. Even though I have read countless books. I did not retain any of this information to be able to use it.

Recently I read a question by someone on Yahoo Answers asking about original or unique story ideas. There is a consensus that the regency period has been beaten like a dead horse. There are those that want to read about a different era in time, at different places. Like what about the middle east or other European countries or America? What about a later period like the early 1900’s? or earlier 1500's? I would like to give this some thought so that my story stands out and is memorable for its readers.

 
I guess for me it will come down to research. Because I am sorry to say that I don't have the time to do much so i will have to choose what is well presented and readily available.

What time and place do you think would prove an interesting read?

The Opening

My opening so far is pretty boring. I think.

 She arrives in London and is waiting on the deck for her family to pick her up. They are late and she is worried but no worries they show up and give her a warm welcome. She is struggling with her inner turmoil. Her secret is something that weighs heavily on her at all times.  Its her first trip anywhere and she is curious of everything. Her sheltered quiet upbringing in near isolation has not affected her spirit. She doesn't intend to do anything inappropriate but she does seem to have a way of causing a stir.

I think her love interest needs to be introduced in the first chapter. He needs to meet her on the street somehow and save her from maybe stepping in a puddle or making a faux pas or something simple like that. I had thought to maybe name him John. He is just your typical nice guy and as always he will be overlooked.

Excerpt

"Faith stood at the railing vigilently searching the crowd for a familiar face. How much longer was she going to have to wait on this floating prison? Thank goodness that long dreadful voyage was over. It took 7 Months to cross the seas to get to London. Even though she didn’t look forward to her visit, she would gladly trade wardens to be on dry land and sleep in a real bed again!"

Comments appreciated as always.

My story...

So I am writing a story. Its my first historical romance and i want it to be great. No matter how long it takes! I have been thinking about what to write for some time but it really all came together last night as I was drifting off to sleep. I knew Faith and her dark love interest. I created an aunt and two cousins so far. I hope to keep it simple but also interesting. I definitely have a lot of work to do.

The plot (I think)

Faith is a young woman of about 18 who grew up in the colonies(I'm thinking an island) with her father. He sends her to England to have a real season and find a husband. She is not interested in marriage. She doesn't need money and is content to write, read and care for her aging father. She meets Lucius a devastatingly handsome rogue and falls madly in love even though she is warned that he is a reprobate of the first order. She also befriends John a wonderful and caring gentleman that proves be her dearest friend. Lucius eventually shows his true colors and Faith is horrified by how evil he really is. John comes to her rescue, saves her from a terrible fate and wins her heart in the end.

So I know its pretty typical so far, but there is a twist! But I don't want to share it just yet. You'll just have to keep following to found out.

Leave your feedback.

My First Writing Piece Made Public!

Writing for me is so difficult. I am an engineer by trade and I get stuck by being too concise. I struggle with adding body to my writing. Nay, I struggle adding the good stuff (i.e.: emotion, description, even dialogue). I mean I know I can get better with practice so here I am. Write every day. Like those people over at WriteMo something or the other.  At one point in time I even took an online class. See an example below.

“Erica still felt that tightening in her chest from last night’s news broadcast. A third woman had gone missing yesterday, without a trace, in what officials believed to be a human trafficking ring.

Her hair was sloppily fell onto her back in a frizzy tangled mess. The bright tangerine blouse and khaki pants she wore were full of ironed on creases. Those black patent leather flats she loved so much somehow appeared even more worn and dusty today. She looked like she was trying out for that TV show, 'What not to wear'.

She was really preoccupied with her own notions of being abducted, wondering what she would do. She was a single woman living alone and had no real family of her own. She didn't have a boyfriend or even a pet to keep her company. She was also lonely. But it was ok. She had her job. She couldn't concentrate however on her job at the moment. All she could see in her head was the picture of the smiling woman's face that was plastered on last night's news and in this morning’s newspaper.

The mountainous stacks of invoices on her desk needed to be logged and paid, at least sometime before the end of the week. But not now, it was time for a break.

What woman could feel safe in times like these? She had to do something to protect herself. Guns were too dangerous; she would probably end up shooting herself on accident being as clumsy as she was. Mace was popular among women but she didn't think a spray would be enough. She wanted to feel safe.

She repositioned her generous behind in her chair and stretched her arms over her head, in an effort to relieve some of her tension. Oh yeah that did feel good. Her thoughts drifted to all those Kung Fu movies she watched at Sean's house when she was growing up. She chuckled to herself remembering one in particular where a man with a long white beard who flew weightlessly through the air fighting about 10 guys all at once without ever being hit or touching the ground. They were really cheesy. Of course those movies were not real but they may be on to something. She could learn some self-defense and at the same time get back into some kind of shape maybe even drop a few pounds.

The tightening in her chest eased and she a light bulb go off in her head. That's it. She hastily grabbed the phone book. There was a place on Mackey St that was close enough to where she lived. It seemed like a good school. It had been in the paper a few times and on her way home from the food store on Wednesdays it always looked full. She decided to stop there on her way home from work today to check it out.

The smell of stale coffee was getting stronger and the usual office chattered died down to an almost distant hum. That usually meant that her boss, Mr. Clarke, was about to walk by in a weakly veiled attempt to see if anyone was working. He never seemed satisfied that anyone in their department was working hard enough.

A second later he waddled by her desk nodding his head upward at her as she simultaneously mimicked his gesture. That was a popular way for people to say hello here without speaking. Erica was positive that he had on the same clothes as yesterday, and the day before that, he smelled like it anyway. He was a nice enough guy as long as he didn't start talking. He usually jumped from this topic to the next all the while repeating himself over and over again, in the most annoying nasal monotone voice you've ever heard.

She glanced from her desk she had a beautiful view of the Harbor. There was still plenty of light outside but as she watched the familiar ship  come back in and dock in its usual place she knew that it was just about time to go home to an empty house. It was Tuesday, take out day. Her heart swelled with joy. The day passed like every other day”

Feel free to critique. Comments welcome. Just be nice so you don’t hurt my feelings. Lol.